Sherlock Holmes, His Limits
by BookwormExtraordinary
Summary: In Study in Scarlet, Watson made a list of Holmes' limits. Here's John's version of the list for Sherlock's limits. Drabble Collection. Ch 3: Politics-221B Ch 4: Astronomy-Drabble Ch 5: Philosophy-Droubble Ch 6: Morals-Drabble Ch 7: Languages-Droubble Ch 8: Geology-Tribble Ch 9: Strategy-221B
1. Literature

**Sherlock Holmes, His Limits: Literature**

"There once was a man from Nantucket," John began, reading from a small volume.

Sherlock rolled his eyes, "Really, John, what kind of drivel is that?"

"It's not drivel!" John exclaimed. "It's a limerick, Sherlock. It's poetry."

"Oh," Sherlock said thoughtfully. "That might explain why it's so awful."

"Poetry is not awful; it's expressive."

"It's also unmanly," he pointed out.

"No it's not," John argued. "All the best poets have been men."

"Name one." Sherlock sat smugly back in his chair, arms folded.

"I'll name several. There was Robert Frost, Robert Burns, and good ol' Will Shakespeare."

"Who's Will Shakespeare?"


	2. Poison

**Sherlock Holmes, His Limits: Poison**

"How long are you going to be growing that plant in the window?" John enquired one day, glancing over at it from where he was finishing his breakfast of toast and tea.

"Oh, who knows," Sherlock drawled from his spot sprawled on the couch. He, as always, had scarfed down his meal and was now lying about, waiting for another case. "Now, John, what do you think of it?"

"Well, I don't quite know what to think, to be honest," John replied, cautiously. "What exactly is it?"

"I would think that as a medical man, you would know." John glanced nervously over at Sherlock. The detective nodded, impatient.

"Hmm, let me see." John peered closely at the plant. "Oh my!" he exclaimed, jumping back. "That's belladonna!"

"Of course it is." The reply was calm. "It wouldn't do me much good otherwise."

He looked sharply at Sherlock. "What kind of 'good' are you planning where belladonna would come in handy?"

Sherlock just raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"On second thought, I really don't think I do." John declared decisively. He settled back into his toast and tried to ignore the poisonous plant lurking in his windowsill.


	3. Politics

**Sherlock Holmes, His Limits: Politics**

"Have you decided who to vote for, Sherlock?" John asked one morning over his newspaper.

"Hmm," he mumbled incoherently.

John peered over his paper at his flatmate. Said flatmate was currently involved in a chemistry experiment, the result of which had a large probability of raising John's rent. "Sherlock, are you listening to me at all?"

"What? Oh, no, not really," he said absentmindedly as he slowly poured a crimson fluid from a test tube into a beaker containing a violet liquid.

"I asked if you had decided who to vote for."

"I really couldn't care less about who wins that silly game show of yours, John!" The beaker had started to smoke slightly as Sherlock quickly set it down on the table and backed away.

"I was actually talking about the election."

"What election?" he asked, attention successfully diverted.

"The election for Prime Minister."

"Really?" Sherlock leaned forward, intrigued. "They have elections for that?"

"They always have elections!"

He was stunned. "I thought that was something Mycroft took care of."

"It's the twenty-first century, Sherlock. The people get to choose the Prime Minister."

"That's just what Mycroft wants you to think." He was smug now, sure he had figured out the truth.

"What do you know about politics, anyway?" John retorted as the beaker finally exploded with a loud boom.


	4. Astronomy

**Sherlock Holmes, His Limits: Astronomy**

One day John broached a subject he'd been contemplating for some time. "How did you manage to figure out that forgery case with the painting? Especially considering your, um, 'knowledge' of the solar system."

His question was met with an eye roll. "Really, John, just because I happened to say that the sun revolved around the Earth one time, you seem to have gotten it into your head that I don't know my way around the local galaxy complex."

"You mean you do?"

"John, I took three years of advanced astronomy at Cambridge. How stupid do you think I am?"


	5. Philosophy

**Sherlock Holmes, His Limits: Philosophy**

"Sherlock, what are you looking at?" John asked his quirky roommate from his desk as said roommate stood at the counter holding a small round fruit and studying it closely.

"Oh, nothing, John, just endeavoring to decide if this orange can feel it when I slice it open."

"Well, you know what they say, 'I think therefore I am'."

The look Sherlock gave him somehow managed to be confused and skeptical at the same time. "…What? That makes no sense. 'I think therefore I am'? What does that have to do with oranges?"

"You can't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about." John couldn't believe it. First the solar system and now the classics! Hadn't Sherlock learned anything at school?

"I honestly don't have a blessed clue."

"It's Descartes, Sherlock! It means that the orange will feel if the orange can think." Sherlock's face was still puzzled. "Honestly! Didn't you ever have to take a philosophy class at Uni?"

"No, I never bothered with it myself. Mycroft took one," he explained. "I suppose I thought one philosophical Holmes was enough. The world can't handle more than that." Sherlock smirked then ducked as John threw his pencil at him.


	6. Morals

**Sherlock Holmes, His Limits: Morals**

"John, would you be willing to help me with an experiment that could change medicine forever?"

"That depends on what that experiment entails," John replied, cautiously optimistic.

"Well, it may involve some poisons that could be considered slightly illegal."

"Sherlock!" John scolded him. "Illegal things are bad." He explained as he would to a child.

"That's a rather narrow view of the world, John. Especially since shooting cabbies is illegal. We wouldn't want Lestrade finding out about that, now would we, John?"

"That's low and you know it!" Sherlock just raised an eyebrow.

John sighed. "Alright. What do you need?"


	7. Languages

**Sherlock Holmes, His Limits: Languages**

John paused and tried to catch his breath. "Sherlock," he panted, "Which way did he go?"

"Probably to the train station," he gasped in return. They had spent the past half-hour chasing a light-footed art thief across Paris and they were beginning to tire.

John glanced around the street. "There's a sign!" They raced over. "Sherlock, what does it say?"

Sherlock looked at the French words intently. "Um, that way." He pointed. "Wait, no, that way."

John looked at him with pity. "You don't know French, do you?"

Sherlock blushed. "Not exactly."

"Isn't your family French?"

"Yes," Sherlock said reluctantly. "My deficiency in that particular field always has been one of Mycroft's favorite Christmas dinner subjects."

John shook his head in sympathy. "Sorry. That's got to be harsh."

"No worse than any other topic he could think of," Sherlock replied with a smile.

"I'll have to take your word for it," John smiled back. Then he turned back to the sign and began peering at it closely. "Alright," he said a minute later. "Let's go find that thief."

"How? Neither one of us can read the sign!"

"Speak for yourself," John winked. "Took it at Uni. Train station's that way."


	8. Geology

**Sherlock Holmes, His Limits: Geology**

"I can see you've finally finished the case?" John enquired as he entered the flat.

Sherlock didn't glance up from his experiment. "And what makes you say that?" His tone was bored and slightly impatient, as if he couldn't wait for his blogger to be out of his hair again.

"You've been out," he said, as if that explained everything.

His flat mate straightened up slowly and turned to face him, confused. "I what?"

"You went out," he repeated, a small smile making its way onto his face at the detective's astonished look.

"And how on earth did you come up with that?"

"Your shoes," the pair both glanced at the footwear. "They're covered in mud up to the insoles."

"From that you deduced that I'd solved the case? How do you know I wasn't simply chasing down a lead?" his friend queried.

"Because," the shorter man replied with a grin, "That mud can only be found in Lampton, on the far west side of London, near where our client lives and conveniently near a tube station. The only reason you would have to go over there would be to tell her the case was solved, especially since the crime was committed in Greenwich. You didn't call her to tell her the killer was caught, because she doesn't have a phone or computer, necessitating the tube ride."

There was a slight pause as the consulting detective attempted to take this all in. "How did you know the mud was from Lampton?" he asked at last, voicing the first question that came to mind.

"I read the article on your website about the 374 types of London soil and how to differentiate between them," his flat mate explained.

Sherlock was taken aback. "Well," he finally said, "At least _someone_ read it."


	9. Strategy

**Sherlock Holmes, His Limits: Strategy**

"John," his flat mate began cautiously. "I may not be an expert, but I don't think this is quite legal."

"Sherlock, relax. It's fine." The doctor replied distractedly as he peered around the corner, gun held low.

"No, seriously. I don't think we're supposed to be-"

"Shh!" His blogger held up a hand to his mouth. "Quiet! You're going to give us away!"

"I really don't feel comfortable in any situation where-"

"Sherlock!" John hissed. "What did I say? Quiet!"

"But, John-!"

He was cut off as a bolt came out of nowhere, catching him in the shoulder and causing John to whirl rapidly, simultaneously raising his gun. The sniper never knew what hit him.

Sherlock slowly slumped to the ground, leaning against the wall. "Sorry, John," he murmured. "I guess I should have kept quiet."

"Yeah, yeah," John said as he waved a hand in the air distractedly, eyes still scanning for the enemy, gun at the ready.

"No, I'm serious. I should have listened to you."

"Sherlock," his flat mate began irritably, turning toward him, "As nice as it is to hear-"

Another shot blasted out of the darkness, hitting John square in his unprotected back.

"Fine, I give up. That's the last time I ever bring you to play laser tag with the blokes."


End file.
